Watching the season premiere on Sunday, we asked ourselves: if the characters of The Game of Thrones lived in the here and now, what would they drive? What would appeal most to them when they trade horses for horsepower?

True to the show, we had an all-out war (of words) before the entire affair was brought to a sudden and brutally unjust end by the intervention of a certain senior editor, who dictated the majority of the list you see here.

(Our sincere apologies to David J. Peterson for butchering the Valyrian language.)